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The spin is only just starting, and already Sean Hannity sounds dizzy.

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The spin is only just starting, and already Sean Hannity sounds dizzy.

 

Daily Brian / Flickr FBI raids offices of Donald Trump...
Daily Brian / Flickr

Hee-hee-hee. Not even an hour into being outed as one of three people on the planet lacking the sense to get out of the way of a speeding bus, and already Sean Hannity is losing his shit.

MSNBC just played a clip of Sean Hannity on his radio program, responding the the sudden mushroom cloud over his head due to his association with one august Michael Cohen. Hannity sounds unhinged in the best of circumstances, but if what he just said on the radio is anything representative, they may want to consider restraining him so that he doesn’t hurt himself, or anybody else.

Hannity started out trying to be sarcastic about the mainstream media making a mountain out of this Kilimanjaro. Hannity did not deny using Cohen’s legal services. Kinda. Sort of. Hannity admitted that he had occasionally spoken to Cohen on “legal issues.” But then he went off of the rails, you could almost “see” him pounding his fist on the table as he emphatically stated that he had never paid Cohen, had never received an invoice from Cohen, and had never consulted Cohen regarding any matter involving a “third party.”

OK, my Black Irish brain is confused here. The Manatee’s name only came out for one reason, the legal Maxwell Smart that is Michael Cohen named Hannity as a “client.” Yet Hannity insisted just moments ago that he had never received a bill from Cohen, nor had he ever paid Cohen for his services. Doesn’t the word “client” normally connote someone who is paying for services from someone else? Somebody here has to be lying. Either Cohen is full of shit, and Sean Hannity is not a client, or Sean Hannity is full of shit, and just doesn’t want to admit that he paid a legal lamprey like Cohen for as much as shining his shoes. The only alternative is that Cohen took Hannity on as a “charity case,” cuz like, rich white assholes need a break once in a while too.

The funny thing is, it’s perfectly obvious as to why Sean Hannity is doing this circus contortionist act to try to distance himself from Michael Cohen. After all, it’s not illegal to have a lawyer, I’ve had several myself at one time or another. But the problem is, what kind of a lawyer is he? Michael Cohen is not a corporate lawyer. He’s not a criminal defense lawyer. He’s not a real estate, personal injury, or estate planning lawyer either. So, what kind of law does he practice (and God, he needs all the practice he can get), and what legal expertise does he offer?

Well, if you listen to “Mikey the Mook” himself, he’s a self identified “fixer.” Yep, Michael Cohen is the Barney the Dinosaur version of Ray Donovan. But what kinds of problems? Cohen’s one consistent cash cow, Donald Trump used somebody else for his pre-nups. He used somebody else for his real estate deals. He used somebody else to defend him in the Trump U case, he has other lawyers for the Mueller investigation, as well as all of his other litigation, since there is no history of Cohen ever filing a motion on Trump’s behalf. So, what kind of legal assistance could Cohen have been providing to Hannity, whether paid or unpaid?

How did we become so intimately wise to the legal skills of Michael Cohen in the first place? He flubbed a matter so simple it should be taught in second year law school, a binding non disclosure agreement. What was one of the major bones of contention? Donald Trump never signed the agreement. Which was the real problem, if Trump had wanted to sign the agreement, he wouldn’t have had Cohen call him “David Dennison” in the NDA. I can call myself Bernie Madoff, but unless I change it in court, I’m still going to have to sign the securities fraud booking forms Joseph Murphy. Then we come to find that Cohen facilitated, apparently more quietly this time, a $1.6 million settlement for Elliott Broidy for getting an ex Playboy bunny in a family way. That’s pretty much it, Cohen’s entire public ouvre of excellence in the legal arena.

Little wonder that a married man like Sean Hannity, somebody with enough zeroes in his bank balance to choke Barry Manilow’s accountant, doesn’t want the dear wifey to hear that he has been “consulting” with the likes of Michael Cohen. For all we know, Michael
Cohen could be overseeing dozens of Trump ordered shell companies, laundering millions of rubles, but the only two words the world associates with the name Michael Cohen is Stormy Daniels. And now you can add the name Sean Hannity to that stellar roster.

We’ve known all along that El Presidente Pendejo has the reverse Midas touch, everything he touches turns to shit. Now it turns out that he has rather long coattails, because everythning Michael Cohen touches is starting to smell like a barn too…Mikey shoulda worn surgical gloves when he shook hands with Trump. This just keeps getting better and better.


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Everyone Can’t Stop Laughing After George Zimmerman Reveals He’s Millions In Debt With No Income

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Everyone Can’t Stop Laughing After George Zimmerman Reveals He’s Millions In Debt With No Income

 

George Zimmerman, the ‘man’ who fatally shot unarmed black teenager Trayvon Martin in 2012, is $2.5 million in debt and has no income, according to paperwork in his misdemeanor stalking case. That was revealed after Zimmerman filed in Seminole County court to be represented by the Public Defender’s Office, which has since been granted. The conservative hero is in trouble for stalking and harassing a private investigator. Public Defender Blaise Trettis filed a not-guilty plea for Zimmerman and a request for a jury trial on his behalf. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the killing of Trayvon Martin that brought Zimmerman down, but this might do it.

Social media users looked for fucks to give, but apparently, everyone has run out.

I don’t know who would lend that human train wreck $2.5 million but it doesn’t look like they’ll ever get it back.


Image via screen capture.

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Impeachment is NOT the best punishment for Trump. This is.

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Impeachment is NOT the best punishment for Trump. This is.

 

revision3 / Flickr Donald Trump for 2012 President...
revision3 / Flickr

Jeez, quit boiling up the tar, and stop plucking the damn chickens will ya?!? It all comes out right in the end, just hear me out. Wadda you have to lose, you’re already reading, aren’t you?

Let’s be honest, shall we? In the current circumstances, impeachment is a pipe dream. Even if we retake the House in November, by the time that the newly minted Democratic led committees could finish doing fair, responsible investigations and generate articles of impeachment to vote on, we will already be in the run up to the 2020 elections, and nobody will have the stomach for that kind of political upheaval. Besides, Democratic oversight would effectively rein in the madness, and the passage of progressive House bills for the Senate to shoot down would basically emasculate the rest of Trump’s term. Also, when you come right down to it, impeachment is not an effective punishment for The Tiny Thumbs Diktator.

When one is convicted of a crime, one is sent to prison and loses his or her freedom. What is the ultimate punishment that comes with impeachment? Removal from office. Short and sweet, the ultimate deterrent of impeachment is personal and professional shame. Quick show of hands! Who thinks that Der Gropinfuror has one modicum of shame in his entire, portly carcass? Trump has spent his entire life forgiving himself for and justifying his excesses. And he has already laid the groundwork to fleece his undying supporters that he is actually a martyr, politically crucified for the purity of his cause. As long as 41% of the country believes him, the rest of us can kiss his ass. Trump will never feel shame for being impeached, because he will refuse to acknowledge his crimes that led to his impeachment in the first place.

But be of good cheer, there really is a much more suitable punishment, and it’s one that he can’t avoid, or wriggle his way out of. The most common axiom applied to the execution of the Mueller investigation is three simple words, “Follow. The. Money.” In terms of the Trump-Russia investigation, it is meant to follow Trump’s byzantine finances to look for illicit connections to Russian or other foreign sources that could be used as a point of leverage over him as President. But confirmation of those crimes would logically lead only to impeachment, and that event is unlikely.

BUT! Investigating possible illicit ties to Russia that could affect Trump’s Presidency are not the only times you can follow the money. Mueller’s probe into Trump’s Russia connections has given him almost unprecedented access to Trump’s financial records. Good Lord, a bank in Cyprus even turned records over to the FBI in it’s investigation into Paul Manafort. Just because a financial crime may not directly involve the Russia investigation doesn’t mean that a crime wasn’t committed. And as we have already seen with Michael Cohen, Mueller is not shy about taking incriminating evidence he finds that he can’t use, and turning it over to prosecutorial agencies that can use it.

Rumors and speculation have swirled around the Trump organization for years. Possible bank fraud. Possible money laundering of Russian rubles through his overpriced schlock condos in New York, and his luxury golf properties. Suspicious circumstances around a property he bought in Florida, and sold soon afterwards for double what he paid for it, to a Russian oligarch no less. Allegations of Russian money laundering through an exclusive Trump branded property in Panama City, to the point that the actual owner of the property used armed security guards to try to keep Trump employees from accessing the property. And don’t forget his aborted Trump Tower in Baku, Azerbaijan, where you can’t even plow a driveway without the proper payoff to the ruling oligarch family. If ever there was a mechanism in place to uncover and connect the dots on this kind of complicated financial tomfoolery, it’s the Mueller investigation. And all of it can be routed to the proper jurisdictions for criminal prosecution.

But. But. But. If Trump even gets a whiff of an upcoming prosecution for unrelated financial crimes, he’ll just preemptively pardon himself, and his family. OK, fine. Simple solution? Don’t prosecute Trump, prosecute his COMPANY! The constitution permits a President to pardon an individual for his crimes, nothing authorizes him to pardon a company or corporation. If any of these crimes were committed, they weren’t committed via Trump’s personal bank and checking accounts, they were funneled through his company books. Follow. The. Money. And then take it, all of it. The Enron trial alone proved how effectively the government can dismantle a criminally liable company when they choose to.

For Hair Furor, this would literally be a fate worse than death. Trump can, at least in his own mind, con his way out of the shame and humiliation of an impeachment as a political “witch hunt.” But to be exposed to the world as nothing more than a common criminal, and not a very good one, since he got caught? His ego couldn’t survive that. Criminal fines and restitution would cripple the company, and if the feds played their hand right, it is possible that the prosecution could fall under the RICO statutes, allowing them to confiscate even more. And what survives? Investors and builders would come out of the woodwork to file civil suits against the Trump organization for lost contracts and properties, picking the carcass clean. Best of all, whether Trump survives the stress or not, a successful prosecution would strip his Satan’s spawn of any hope of an inheritance.

Can this actually happen? Who knows. It all depends on the depth of Trump’s greed, and his willingness to break the rules to get the money. Personally, I think that Trump has been erasing lines since day one, and if his current situation is anything to go by, he isn’t very good at covering his tracks. If he’s dirty, the FBI should have no problem connecting the dots. But you must admit, the thought of His Lowness spending the rest of his miserable existence shacked up in one of Jared’s rent controlled slums, and binge watching The Apprentice reruns, beats having to listen to him blather about his “witch hunt” impeachment hands down.


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NRA Demands ‘Common Sense Limitations’ On Media’s Ability To Report On School Shootings

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NRA Demands ‘Common Sense Limitations’ On Media’s Ability To Report On School Shootings

The NRA has decided to match calls for common sense limitations on who can purchase a firearm by demanding that the First Amendment be completely ripped up.

On Thursday, the NRA’s propaganda network (yes, they have one if you were not previously aware) tweeted a clip calling for limitations on the media’s ability to report on school shootings.

“It’s time to put an end to this glorification of carnage in pursuit of ratings because it’s killing our kids,” NRATV’s Colion Noir actually said. “It’s time for Congress to step up and pass legislation putting common sense limitations on #MSM‘s ability to report on these school shootings.”

While the Second Amendment is immensely important to the National Rifle Association, it’s clear that the First Amendment isn’t since they are calling for laws restricting what the media can and can’t report.

In February, Bloomberg reported that gun stocks have been suffering volatility recently, with sales falling off in recent years and some court decisions that are unfriendly to the gun lobby:

Tuesday’s headlines underscored that the trade in gun stocks is becoming more nuanced with more moving parts and greater uncertainty. On one hand, the Trump administration advanced a ban on “bump stocks” (but not guns) and Florida legislators voiced opposition to reviving any attempt to ban assault rifles. Meanwhile, the Supreme Court handed down a pair of adverse decisions for the gun lobby and a Quinnipiac poll showed support for gun control at the highest ever in the poll’s history.

It remains to be seen how the lack of a major legislative threat could affect gun sales. Sturm Ruger on Wednesday reported fourth-quarter revenue and earnings this missed the sole analyst estimates. 2017 sales fell 21 percent from the prior year, to $522.3 million.

The NRA is worried, and when the NRA is worried, it’s cause for celebration.

Watch this dumbass propaganda piece below:

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